This article was originally published September 2017, and last updated June 2026.
The ICF definition of coaching is, “Partnering with clients in a thought provoking and creative process that inspires them to recognize and maximize their personal and professional potential.”
Core Competency #3: Establishes and Maintains Agreements has “Partners” to begin the definition. And 7 of the 12 sub-points for this competency begin with “Partners,” which indicates the importance of this behavior and mindset of a Professional Coach.
From my experience as a mentor coach and ICF Assessor, the concept of Partnering with your coaching client is often intellectually understood yet not well practiced.
Consider it the coach’s role to explain to the client what partnering is in a coaching session, so the client is aware they will have choices about what to explore first, then what to explore next, how they want to explore their topic, what they’d like their coach (you) to pay attention to as they share, readiness to move from discovery to considering their session progress, learning and actions, as well as partnering with the client on how they want to close the session.
I’ve named all of this “Process Partnering.” It’s not an official ICF term, more a distinction I offer you. An ICF Assessor is listening for the coach to demonstrate Partnering mindset multiple times in a coaching session.
Once embraced, practiced and integrated, the coach realizes how valuable Partnering mindset is to the coaching experience for the client.
Process Partnering includes:
- The coach explaining what Partnering is to their client, and then demonstrating Partnering mindset throughout each coaching session.
- The coach partnering with their client to clarify and confirm their session focus and desired outcome for the session.
- Once the session focus and outcome are clarified and confirmed, the coach asks the client to choose where the client wants to begin exploring their topic. This ensures coach is allowing the client to lead, not the coach leading the client.
- As the session progresses, the coach asks the client to choose where would benefit them to explore next (in service of achieving their desired session outcome).
- The coach recognizing when a new topic, a connected topic, or a deeper aspect of the current topic emerges. The coach observes to the client, and invites the client to choose where to go now.
Coaching Engagement Partnering
The first place that Process Partnering occurs is for the overall coaching engagement, where the coach and client design the way they’ll work together.
This process design is most often led by the coach, and rightly so because they are educating their client on the process they’ll be going through over a period of months, or longer. I refer to this as the consultative phase of coaching, and it’s up to the coach to keep educating their client on how coaching works, how to get the most from their coach, and what to expect as the coaching engagement progresses. The coach partners to understand client expectations and clarify what the coach can do, will do and won’t do (as a coach).
I’ve previously written an article called, “Creating a Coaching Development Plan” where I share about the process I often go through in a coaching engagement.
Sharing the Lead and the Client Choosing
Concepts that fit for Partnering is the mindset of coach sharing the lead with their client, and empowering their client to make choices about session direction.
When I was first trained as a coach in 1998, Partnering mindset and skill was not taught. Instead, the coach was the one that led the client through the coaching session, acting as an expert on the what, how or where to explore next about the client or their topic. When the PCC Markers were first released in 2014, the significance of Partnering as a coaching mindset and skill was clearly articulated. That understanding has continued to evolve in light of the significant positive impact Partnering has on the client and their success in the coaching process.
Process Partnering examples
“What requests do you have of me to listen for specifically?”
“How do you want me to support you with your thinking on this?”
In response to these types of questions, the client may ask their coach to listen for things like congruence between their words and body language, role-playing an upcoming challenging conversation, to ask them questions to help them think about their situation from different perspectives, and to give observations when the coach notices specific changes in their use of words, pacing or tone of voice, facial or body changes.
Sometimes the client doesn’t have a specific request, and that’s okay. Yet the act of asking the client is educating your client they are an equal partner in the coaching process.
If the client doesn’t know where they want to explore next, consider leaving some silent space first. The client does then often have an idea. Let’s say the client says they still don’t know, then their coach can Partner by offering possibilities.
For example: “I have a few ideas to offer you based on what you’ve shared so far. You talked about your concern about the alignment of team members, so could begin by talking about what’s behind your concern, or start with what alignment looks like for your team. Or maybe that sparks some other ideas of where to go now.”
Partnering on Process for giving advice
If your client asks for suggestions, the coach often defaults to giving advice or leading the client to what the coach thinks. Instead, first consider reflecting back what the client may have already shared (per example given above), as clients often say things that indicate they already have ideas. The coach might not be listening well enough to hear them – a development opportunity for the coach.
My first go-to place is to reflect back what client may have already shared, or to offer them possibilities (as per above).
Another way I respond to being asked for advice or suggestions is with something like, “I can do that, however first I’d like to inquire to understand what you know already or what you’re thinking about. Then if there’s something I feel would be useful to add, I will do so.”
I’ve never had a client push back on that approach. And as a result, the number of times I then offer suggestions is minimal, because the client may not have taken the time to reflect on what they already know, and what they could do. One of the greatest benefits clients tell me is our coaching session gives them dedicated time to think (to feel), to reflect, and to consider what-ifs. And they realize they knew more than they first thought.
A Reminder to Allow the Client to Choose Where to Begin Exploring their Topic, or Where to go Next in the Session
Often, after the coach has inquired to understand the client’s topic, desired outcome, and measure of success for the session, the coach then asks a question to dive into exploring the topic. This means the coaching direction is chosen by the coach, led by the coach’s curiosity, instead of what the client might want to explore next.
This is a great time to ‘share the lead’ with your client by asking them, “Where would benefit you to explore now?”
As the competence of the coach increases from ACC to PCC to MCC, there is an expectation of more comfort and ease from the coach in sharing the lead with their client.
In Closing…
The coach is there to support the client explore their chosen topic in order to have awareness emerge that gives them clarity and confidence about how they want to move forward. Partnering with the client to share the lead throughout the session conveys trust in the client as an equal partner in the coaching relationship. Engaging in Process Partnering gives the coach ability to align with their client in every moment of the coaching session.
Written by Carly Anderson, MCC
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