The pursuit of excellence

The Summer Olympic Games in Paris have now concluded. Last week I was on staycation and delightfully binge watched as many events as possible from my sofa in California! My television network (CBS/Peacock) did an excellent job of making every event available, every day, live and then by replay. I partook of a smorgasbord of sport that I only watch once every Olympic cycle, including cycling, diving, swimming, gymnastics, track & field, canoeing, equestrian, football, rowing, sport climbing, table tennis, tennis, triathlon, marathon, volleyball, basketball, trampoline, skateboarding, fencing …the list goes on .

Over the course of two weeks, I felt inspired, awed, emotional, empathy, and fully satisfied watching so many athletes doing their best in pursuit of excellence. Some athletes were there to win gold, while for others any color medal would be an incredible achievement. Others were totally satisfied being an Olympian competing with the best in the world; their dream come true.

Professional coaches in pursuit of excellence

The pursuit of excellence is a mindset that high performing coaches engage in as well, realizing that being a good coach may only be ‘good enough’ for a period of time. We are in the human development business. As such, we get to model continually developing ourselves to be able to serve our clients even better. In turn, we can be more competent at engaging with deeper layers of humanity available in every client and provide them with an opportunity to become more self-aware, more confident, more satisfied, and more accomplished.

Yet if we are not “mature” (nothing to do with age) and developed in ourselves to be with and work with the full humanity of another human being, a coach may believe their clients don’t want a deeper level of exploration (about how their beliefs, identity, emotions, values, needs or wants are impacting their thoughts and actions…). Instead, it may be that because their coach doesn’t have a depth of personal awareness and professional development, the client doesn’t even ‘present’ information about themselves to their coach. Or maybe the client does present information about themselves, and the coach isn’t aware or developed enough to recognize.

Embodying a Coaching Mindset

There is a continuous and ongoing mastery journey available to all coaches and is captured in ICF Core Competency 2: “Embodies a Coaching Mindset.” This competency reminds us that a Professional Coach seeks to “develop and maintain a mindset that is open, curious, flexible and client-centered.”

Here are some of the sub-points of Competency 2 describing a Professional Coach:

• Engages in ongoing learning and development as a coach
• Remains aware of and open to the influence of context and culture on self and others
• Develops and maintains the ability to regulate one’s emotions, including mentally and emotionally preparing for coaching sessions

It goes without saying (yet I’m going to say it ) – if you’re going to be a Professional Coach, you need to be trained in professional coaching skills. After Professional Coach Training, then take the next step and pass the exam of a Credentialed Coach. The journey with ICF begins at the beginner (ACC) skill level. Then moves to intermediate (PCC) skill level. And on to mastery (MCC) skill level.

“Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives.” ~ Aristotle

In the pursuit of excellence, I offer the following for your consideration, with some playfulness involved.

Is coaching for short term relief okay?

Yes! If a client has something they want to solve or resolve, then that’s worth supporting them to resolve. Life is always presenting short term challenges. And people work in hierarchical systems where someone has more power or less power. If we have to resolve something today to keep our job, or our team going, then support the client to do that.

Yet a coach still engages from a mindset of curiosity, seeking to support the client to solve their own challenges. Core Competency #8: Facilitates Client Growth, addresses the outcome of coaching which is to have the client progress and learn and grow from their coaching conversations.

Example inquiries might include:

• How does the client describe their presenting challenge?
• What do you notice about how the client speaks about themselves and others?
• What is the outcome the client is seeking to have in regard to their presenting challenge?
• What does the client perceive is preventing them from having their issue resolved?

Do I always have to be coaching the client for long term shifts?

Yes! However, it may first mean the client needs to experience some short term relief by solving some short term challenges as per above. Yet if the coach is always working from a place of short term relief, the client misses the opportunity to learn from situations they seem to repeatedly find themselves in.

Example inquiries might include:

• What might be an underlying cause that has similar issues recur?
• What client beliefs might be contributing to recurring challenges?
• What systemic issues may be contributing to their recurring challenge?
• What might the client be avoiding dealing with?
• What fundamental shift in thinking might make a long term shift possible?

Do I really need to coach the ‘whole human being?’

Yes! A client is a whole person, who may have more self-knowledge, capability and experiences outside the context we are working with them. Such knowledge may be transferred by the client to a situation they bring to coaching to explore.

Example inquiries might include:

• What cultural aspects are influencing the client?
• What aspects of client identity might need to be considered?
• What is the client experience of being in relationships outside of work?
• What’s different about how the client relates to people in work settings than in other life settings?
• How does the client ability to be authentic in their self-expression differ at work and outside of work?

Do I really need to be spacious, and empathetic?

Uh, yes! These are some of the qualities of a masterfully present coach and are named as such in Core Competency #5: Maintains Presence. We all experience loss, disappointment, fear, sadness, anger and times of less motivation. As well as excitement, happiness, and enjoyment. As coaches, we can hear and be with whatever the client is experiencing, and respect and honor their experiences, thoughts and feelings.

In a coaching conversation, the client is being asked questions that require them to pause, reflect, think, feel, and explore. The more patient and spacious a coach can be, means the ‘spotlight’ is on the client to do their work in the coaching session. When a coach often interrupts or gives client little space to consider their thoughts and feelings, the potential is lowered for the client to learn.

Example inquiries might include:

• I’m sensing you need more time; please take all the time you need.
• What do you need from me as your coach in this moment?
• Coach notices their client is reflective and considering their thoughts or feelings. Coach remains silent.
• Coach notices awareness is emerging for the client and remains silent to allow client to more fully experience (verbally and/or non-verbally) the shift that is forming for them.

Do I really need to be adept at working with the full range of human emotions?

Uh, yes again! In the wild west days of coaching, if a coach asked the client about their emotions, we were considered therapists! Thankfully sensibility prevails now and we recognize that how we feel greatly influences what we do and don’t do.

For example, if our client experiences a team member presenting their work in a meeting as if it is their work, without acknowledging their contribution, it could be that resentment, distrust, anger, and lowered motivation are an impact on our client. Contrary, if the client contribution is acknowledged, feelings of pride and satisfaction are experienced because they feel seen, recognized and appreciated. Which likely will increase motivation.

Core Competencies 2: Embodies a Coaching Mindset, and 5: Maintains Presence, are interlinked, including how we manage, express and respond to emotional information from ourselves, and our client.

Competency 5 highlights ability of the coach to “manage one’s emotions to stay present with the client, and confidence to work with strong client emotions during the coaching process.” In addition, Core Competency 6: Listens Actively, highlights ability of the coach to, “notice, acknowledge and explore client emotions, energy shifts, non-verbal cues…”

Example inquiries might include:

• When you consider your working relationship with [Chris], what comes to you?
• When you trust [Chris], how do you feel?
• When your trust in [Chris] is lowered, how do you feel?
• How are your feelings about [Chris] influencing your approach to working with them?
• You are moving your body as you speak about [Chris], how do you interpret those movements?
• Your face changed and you did [this] as you spoke about [Chris], what does [this] mean?
• I’m sensing some emotion present as you speak about [Chris]; what are you aware of in yourself now?
• Something shifted in your energy and emotions as you spoke about [Chris] [then be silent and allow client time to reflect and respond].

Do I really need to have a presence of ‘Not Knowing?’

Yes! We never really know what the best solution is for any of our clients. If a client asks for our advice or opinion on how to handle something they are facing, we really don’t know how it is for them. We have not lived their life, their history, their beliefs, or their emotions. We know that from studies of twins living in the same household, they can have a very different experience of the same events of their life.

Clients often ask for our advice or opinion because they want short term relief. The opportunity is for the coach to be adept at knowing how to respond. If the coach avoids answering, the client might not feel heard. If the client believes the coach is there to provide advice, opinions and short cuts, we have a problem Houston.

We may have a lot of knowledge that is similar to our client, yet if we have the humility to be curious, to find out what the client already knows, and then add anything else we feel might be useful. In fact, that is what I tell my coaching clients when they ask for my advice or opinion, and I rarely [never] receive pushback from my client. The ironic thing is once I ask what they already know about this situation, what they are considering, what else they might know but be discounting. It’s rare that I have to add anything more because they do have more self-knowledge, or come up with more ideas, than they realized they had. That’s because one of the greatest benefits of coaching is to provide a listening space for the client, to hear themselves.

If I do want to add my advice or opinion, then ego is likely in play. Or believing I only add value if I’m giving tips, tools, advice, opinions. If a client still asks me for my opinion, I’ll give it concisely and often building on something they’ve already said.

So what can I know a lot about?

A lot of things! We just don’t really know what is best for every client, even based on our own experience that might seem very similar. In response to the request for my advice, I find out first what the client knows already about their situation, and what thoughts they have about how to resolve it. They know this is my approach and I’m continually training my coaching clients on how to use me as a coach, not a consultant or advisor. They also know I may use some of my knowledge to form questions that support them to explore for themselves. If the client has already said something I would have said, and they still ask for my advice, I might let them know there is nothing more I could add that they haven’t already realized themselves.

You may have this experience too; coaching clients regularly report they cannot believe how much they accomplished in our coaching session, or how much clarity they gained and how simple the solutions were for them. Most admit they don’t make the time and space for reflection as they just do, do do. They realize how productive it is for a professionally trained coach to ask them questions that support them to connect to their self-knowledge they didn’t even know they possessed.

If a client wants to know something such as how to handle conflict in work relationships, there are training programs they can engage with to build a broader knowledge base. Many companies provide an intranet with such resources for their employees. Perhaps their coach asks what company resources they have available to them. Or a search online will produce many articles, books, talks, podcasts, on just about any topic you can think of! As the client is developing their knowledge, their coach can also be working with them on implementing how to handle specific conflict situations. Although in truth, broader knowledge of a topic doesn’t always mean better implementation. Which is why a well trained coach can be more effective than reading books, articles, going to training programs…

What we can develop is our ‘knowing’ about how to be a masterful coach, continuing to develop ourselves to be more fully present, more grounded and more confident in our coaching skills. We can increase our competence work with the full range of our client’s humanity, to ask succinct, open-ended, customized, and responsive questions. We can develop our ability to craft succinct comments, observations, sensing and intuitions and offer to the client without expectation of the client to accept. We become masterful knowing about coaching presence and coaching skills at ever more levels of excellence.

In closing….

As our profession continues to evolve, there is even more need to continue in the pursuit of excellence of being a masterful coach and for more highly skilled coaches. No matter how long we’ve been a professionally trained coach, the learning journey never ends. As more coaching companies emerge, there is even more need to have clarity about the power of coaching. And to continually educate coaching providers on what coaching is, rather than expecting coaches to be hybrid consultants, mentors or advisors.

May you continue the pursuit of excellence in your ongoing coaching journey.

Written by Carly Anderson, MCC

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