I’ve been pondering a word combination that appears in ICF Core Competency materials: “client unique talents.” There’s an additional statement for MCC behaviors that refers to client “other unique characteristics.”
As a seasoned mentor coach and very long-time ICF Assessor, I’m often asked what words and statements like these mean and how they might be demonstrated by the coach. A recent blog article I wrote, “Every Client is a Culture of One,” explores the mindset of not assuming we know another person based on similarity. This article is complementary and explores the coaching behavior that follows from that mindset: learning to notice, respect, and appropriately acknowledge what is distinctive about each client.
The ICF competency statements that include “unique”
Core Competency #4: Cultivates Trust and Safety.
4.03 is, “[Coach] acknowledges and respects the client’s unique talents, insights and work in the coaching process.”
In the PCC Markers, the exact same wording is repeated:
4.1. “[Coach] acknowledges and respects the client’s unique talents, insights and work in the coaching process.”
Then in the MCC Behavior Statements, “unique” appears:
4.2. Coach recognizes the client’s emotions, strengths, or other unique characteristics.
What does “unique” mean?
Researching definitions, I found the following:
- “Unique” refers to being the only one of its kind, having no equal, or being unusual.
- A “unique talent” is a distinct natural ability or strength that sets an individual apart from others.
- A “unique characteristic” is a distinctive feature or quality of a particular person that helps set them apart from others.
Often, a coach perceives their client as similar to other clients because of a specific context, such as coaching many clients with the same professional title or a common life role. Examples might be a coach who works with Project Managers or “Team Leads.” A life role could be Parent or Spouse. Or it could be a stage of life, such as being a new mom or preparing for retirement.
No matter the similarities, our client benefits when we recognize and respond to each person as unique. No two people have the exact same history. No two Project Managers or Team Leads are the same, even if they hold the same job title.
One of the gifts a coach can give their client is to not only witness their client’s unique ways of self-expression, but also have the skill to verbalize what the coach is hearing and observing back to the client. This can give the client a perspective about themselves they may lose sight of when focused on solving a challenge or changing something they don’t want to keep experiencing.
“Unique” doesn’t necessarily mean extraordinary
“Unique” doesn’t necessarily mean extraordinaryWhen people hear “unique talent,” they may imagine something exceptional such as charisma, creativity, strategic brilliance, or leadership ability.
But what if uniqueness is much quieter? It might be how someone listens, how they organize information, their persistence, their humor, their ability to notice subtle changes, or their sensitivity to other people’s reactions. It could be the unusual questions they ask, or their ability to sit with uncertainty longer than others might.
A client may not recognize their unique talents and characteristics because they perceive those things as ordinary. What feels ordinary to the client may feel distinctive when offered by the coach without attachment.
- If unique doesn’t have to mean extraordinary, then what might the coach notice?
- How can the coach recognize and offer what they notice without defining the client?
- What changes for the client when something familiar about themselves becomes visible?
Recognizing and Acknowledging
The ICF Core Competency and PCC Marker wording says “acknowledges.” The MCC behavior statement says “recognizes.”
What’s the difference?
A coach first has to recognize, or notice, something distinctive about the client. Yet recognizing silently isn’t necessarily enough. At appropriate moments, the coach may put what they recognize into words so the client can consider it further for themselves.
For example:
- “I’m noticing that every time you talk about this decision, you become very precise about what matters to the people around you. I don’t hear what matters most to you, though. What do you make of that?”
- Or, “You’ve described three very different situations, and in each one you found a way forward that didn’t require you to compromise what mattered to you. What are your thoughts about that?”
Recognizing (or noticing) does not contain the coach’s conclusion about what that means. Instead, the coach offers the client an opportunity to explore and respond, such as by adding, “What do you make of that?” or “What are your thoughts about that?”
Now the client gets to accept it, reject it, modify it, or discover something entirely different.
Is the glass half empty or half full?
When a client is working through a challenging situation, they may not realize how many strengths, talents, unique qualities and ways of going about things they have at their disposal. That’s because the client is living in their body, going about doing things in their way, with all their lived experiences. We also tend to discount aspects of ourselves and what we are doing well in favor of looking at the things that aren’t working.
An analogy to expand on this further is the idea of the glass being half empty or the glass being half full.
Glass half empty: “Deficit-oriented” mindset
This could be called a deficit-oriented mindset, where the coach’s attention gravitates toward the problem, what’s missing, what isn’t working, and what the client needs to change. This mindset is often present in beginner coaches, although even experienced coaches may believe their value lies in applying their problem-solving abilities to the client’s situation.
Glass half full: “Capacities-oriented” mindset
This could be called a capacities-oriented mindset, where the coach’s attention includes what is already present—the client’s talents, strengths, insights, experiences, resourcefulness, and other unique characteristics that may be available to them.
What is distinctive about the way this particular client thinks, feels, communicates, makes meaning, responds, creates, decides, or moves through their world?
A more experienced and masterful coach is comfortable being present and responsive to what this client brings and is not attached to proving what they know based on their own experiences and knowledge.
A “glass half full” mindset doesn’t mean positive thinking.
The coach isn’t ignoring the empty half of the glass or trying to get the client to look on the bright side. The challenge may be very real. Instead, the coach holds a both/and perspective: the client wants to change something that is difficult or missing AND already holds a lot of self-knowledge and capacities through their lived experience that can inform them how to approach their situation.
The coach’s role isn’t to convince the client that the glass is half full. It’s to notice the glass the client is actually holding. And for the coach to consider where they personally gravitate: to solving the deficits, empty half of the glass? Or recognizing and verbalizing the glass half full capacities of their client?
With a glass half full mindset, the coach might consider questions like:
- What is this client’s way of approaching difficulty?
- What capacities and qualities are already present in them?
- What might the client not be seeing because those qualities are so familiar to them?
For example, a client pauses for a long time before answering. A coach could regard the silence as something to fill. Or recognize that thoughtful pausing may be part of how this particular client processes. Perhaps the client’s ability to be silent for longer is natural to them in how they listen to others and is unrecognized by them as a talent or unique characteristic.
Or a client repeatedly uses vivid metaphors. Rather than simply hearing the content, the coach can recognize metaphor as part of this client’s distinctive way of making meaning and incorporate the client’s metaphors and concepts into questions and comments.
In closing…
We all share the label of “human being.” And no two people have precisely the same combination of experiences, ways of thinking, emotions, talents, strengths, ways of using language, values, priorities, and ways of making meaning.
Recognizing a client’s unique capacities isn’t about looking for something remarkable. It’s about becoming curious and attentive to notice what is already distinctly theirs.
Consider if you listen primarily for what needs to be fixed or changed? Or are you also listening for what is already there for the client to connect to and leverage?
There is a time and place for problem-solving. Yet when our client has a fuller picture of their unique qualities, talents and characteristics, their experience of resolving their challenges may feel different and have a different path to resolution. The client can now recognize the unique talents and other characteristics they already have, and consider how to use them to move forward in ways that are congruent for them.
Written by Carly Anderson, MCC
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